Okay, so there was some Jesus convicting Vicki on Tuesday or Wednesday that I mentioned on my face book wall that I keep remembering and I just wanted to write about it. So here it goes!
Well, on Tuesday I was thinking through somethings and listening to a sermon on addictions. The preacher challenged that at the root of every addiction is an idol, at the root of every "unbreakable" sin struggle there is an idol. I have one of those unbreakable's and have recently started calling it an addiction. It's called daydreaming. You might say everybody daydreams, it's no big deal. But to me and my relationship with Jesus, it's a big deal. I have a really hard time being emotional present and driving is a bit dangerous at times. So yes, I would say it's an addiction. So thanks to the sermon I started digging deeper. What am I appeasing when I daydream? What am I looking for? Where am I not trusting Jesus to be my savior? Is Jesus at all what I'm looking for?
Often the reason I'm daydreaming is I'm avoiding something, normally pain - physically or emotional. The majority of the daydreams are about people and they always think I'm wonderful! (I think I may have heard you just giggle Reader! Maybe you lol-ed?)
So I'm constantly seeking comfort and acceptance. I also crush on boys a lot and idolize dating and marriage. I'm constantly looking for male approval. Love, approval, acceptance, comfort. Yep, that sounds about right!
So let me think about this... if I'm a Christian that means what? That Jesus died on the cross for me. He died the death I deserved to reunite me with His Father, God. Not only reunite us but that through Jesus' death I might be given full son-ship! I have been adopted as God's Son, so that when God looks at me, He doesn't see a wretched, broken, rebellious sinner. NO! God see Jesus. What does God think of Jesus? Have you read John 17 recently? God the Father LOVES Jesus. They are one. Because I am in Christ Jesus, when God looks at me He sees Jesus. So God the Father LOVES Vicki in Christ!
Yeah. Because of Jesus, I don't have to go chasing love anymore - I already have more then enough poured out all over me! I already am loved.
Because of Jesus I am accepted into His family. I'm a dastardly sinner, I know I'm gonna sin against God and my friends and I'm totally afraid of being kicked out of community. But I am in Jesus. When I sin He forgives me and because others in the Jesus community are in Jesus, they will forgive me too. We as a community will walk through life together - life isn't just easy stuff. When babies learn to walk they fall a lot. Each time we as human learn something new we fail a lot. When sinners walk in Jesus centered community together... we fail each other, a lot! (huge sigh) I've already failed new Jesus fam a lot! But because of Jesus there is room for me to ask for forgiveness and make amends. And you know what? I'm not the only one who fails. So Jesus and my community knows that I will fall. I think God created community to show off His love for us. Jesus centered community forgives because in Christ they have been forgiven. I am accepted despite my broken self. Because of Jesus, I get to sit back and watch Him work out His redemption.
Because I am in Christ I am justified. I don't have chase approval of man... my worth and everything are covered and satisfied in Jesus Christ!
And comfort? (sigh)! life isn't comfortable, and especially not comfortable in Christ. But I've found that when I'm hurting or sad the Holy Spirit is the ultimate comfort. I can't explain that farther... I don't know how. He just does, His Spirit ministers to mine. He teaches me how to walk this life with Him instead of fighting to do it on my own.
Well, on Tuesday I was thinking through somethings and listening to a sermon on addictions. The preacher challenged that at the root of every addiction is an idol, at the root of every "unbreakable" sin struggle there is an idol. I have one of those unbreakable's and have recently started calling it an addiction. It's called daydreaming. You might say everybody daydreams, it's no big deal. But to me and my relationship with Jesus, it's a big deal. I have a really hard time being emotional present and driving is a bit dangerous at times. So yes, I would say it's an addiction. So thanks to the sermon I started digging deeper. What am I appeasing when I daydream? What am I looking for? Where am I not trusting Jesus to be my savior? Is Jesus at all what I'm looking for?
Often the reason I'm daydreaming is I'm avoiding something, normally pain - physically or emotional. The majority of the daydreams are about people and they always think I'm wonderful! (I think I may have heard you just giggle Reader! Maybe you lol-ed?)
So I'm constantly seeking comfort and acceptance. I also crush on boys a lot and idolize dating and marriage. I'm constantly looking for male approval. Love, approval, acceptance, comfort. Yep, that sounds about right!
So let me think about this... if I'm a Christian that means what? That Jesus died on the cross for me. He died the death I deserved to reunite me with His Father, God. Not only reunite us but that through Jesus' death I might be given full son-ship! I have been adopted as God's Son, so that when God looks at me, He doesn't see a wretched, broken, rebellious sinner. NO! God see Jesus. What does God think of Jesus? Have you read John 17 recently? God the Father LOVES Jesus. They are one. Because I am in Christ Jesus, when God looks at me He sees Jesus. So God the Father LOVES Vicki in Christ!
Yeah. Because of Jesus, I don't have to go chasing love anymore - I already have more then enough poured out all over me! I already am loved.
Because of Jesus I am accepted into His family. I'm a dastardly sinner, I know I'm gonna sin against God and my friends and I'm totally afraid of being kicked out of community. But I am in Jesus. When I sin He forgives me and because others in the Jesus community are in Jesus, they will forgive me too. We as a community will walk through life together - life isn't just easy stuff. When babies learn to walk they fall a lot. Each time we as human learn something new we fail a lot. When sinners walk in Jesus centered community together... we fail each other, a lot! (huge sigh) I've already failed new Jesus fam a lot! But because of Jesus there is room for me to ask for forgiveness and make amends. And you know what? I'm not the only one who fails. So Jesus and my community knows that I will fall. I think God created community to show off His love for us. Jesus centered community forgives because in Christ they have been forgiven. I am accepted despite my broken self. Because of Jesus, I get to sit back and watch Him work out His redemption.
Because I am in Christ I am justified. I don't have chase approval of man... my worth and everything are covered and satisfied in Jesus Christ!
And comfort? (sigh)! life isn't comfortable, and especially not comfortable in Christ. But I've found that when I'm hurting or sad the Holy Spirit is the ultimate comfort. I can't explain that farther... I don't know how. He just does, His Spirit ministers to mine. He teaches me how to walk this life with Him instead of fighting to do it on my own.
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