Today was a day. Whew, so glad it's over. In the last crush i had (yep, you know I got talk about boys some), God taught me soooooooo much. It was a rough crush to say the least but I don't know how else God would have taught me everything He did without all the strangeness off it. To say at least a little more there were some spirits at work that were not of Jesus parading around acting like God (according to 2 Corinthians 10 or 11 they do that, don't they). But through it all God was at a deep work in my heart, growing me in trust of Him and changing a lot of my perspectives on things. One of the things that changed was doubt. When I met said crush - will call him Frank - all of a sudden I realized that even if Frank wasn't my future husband and things didn't go as I hoped God knew exactly what was going on. Even though I thought maybe Frank was "the one", I became sure that God loves me and knows the plans.
So I don't need to go around day dreaming about the future and how it will work out and worrying "OMG, i'm gonna mess it up if I don't plan the perfect things to say to every possible thing that could happen." God's got my life. I am secure in Him. I can rest in peace about the future. The Lord holds it.
Today though I started thinking about another guy (we'll call him Buddy), so i was thinkin about Buddy tooooo much and praying that I would stop it already! Haven't I had enough crushes to last the rest of my life?
Maybe so. So then this afternoon I was thinking what can I think about instead? I have Hosea 2:14-18 up in my cubical and read 2 Corinthians 10 and 11 this morning and something in chapter 11:2-3 Paul is talking to the church saying he wanted to be able to present them to their Husband, present this bride pure to her husband but he wouldn't be able to because she's been deceived like Eve.
sounds a lot like me doesn't it? I start thinkin about a boy thinking that if I daydream about him my aches and pains will disappear. Or that I can do this life on my own without Jesus, all the while running to my idols for comfort, healing, and dreams to be completed. When its just a deception. If I were to marry my life doesn't just become "happily ever after" I keep living with struggles with a man until Jesus comes back or takes me home. Its a deception that I believe that all my pains will be healed by ignoring it.
It's a lie that I can make my life better by daydreaming pain away, because in so doing I lack healing and miss out on what the Lord has for me to do and be today.
I remembered that belief I came to while crushing on Frank that God absolutely, 100% knows the plans He has for me. Plans to prosper and not to harm. God loves me and has His glory in mind. Lord willing Buddy and Frank will be friends of mine. And in the Name of Jesus I will trust Him with the future even when it hurts and I don't understand or find it easier to worry. (sigh) Jesus help!
So I don't need to go around day dreaming about the future and how it will work out and worrying "OMG, i'm gonna mess it up if I don't plan the perfect things to say to every possible thing that could happen." God's got my life. I am secure in Him. I can rest in peace about the future. The Lord holds it.
Today though I started thinking about another guy (we'll call him Buddy), so i was thinkin about Buddy tooooo much and praying that I would stop it already! Haven't I had enough crushes to last the rest of my life?
Maybe so. So then this afternoon I was thinking what can I think about instead? I have Hosea 2:14-18 up in my cubical and read 2 Corinthians 10 and 11 this morning and something in chapter 11:2-3 Paul is talking to the church saying he wanted to be able to present them to their Husband, present this bride pure to her husband but he wouldn't be able to because she's been deceived like Eve.
sounds a lot like me doesn't it? I start thinkin about a boy thinking that if I daydream about him my aches and pains will disappear. Or that I can do this life on my own without Jesus, all the while running to my idols for comfort, healing, and dreams to be completed. When its just a deception. If I were to marry my life doesn't just become "happily ever after" I keep living with struggles with a man until Jesus comes back or takes me home. Its a deception that I believe that all my pains will be healed by ignoring it.
It's a lie that I can make my life better by daydreaming pain away, because in so doing I lack healing and miss out on what the Lord has for me to do and be today.
I remembered that belief I came to while crushing on Frank that God absolutely, 100% knows the plans He has for me. Plans to prosper and not to harm. God loves me and has His glory in mind. Lord willing Buddy and Frank will be friends of mine. And in the Name of Jesus I will trust Him with the future even when it hurts and I don't understand or find it easier to worry. (sigh) Jesus help!
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