Being Changed ...a "But God" story

I have no idea what to title this post. Maybe something about how faithful God is, or Him being the best Dad in the whole biz but whatev.

I've just been thinking in recent weeks that my life is frustrating because I don't know how to be friends with single guys my age and that's really frustrating and annoying and sheesh how will I ever get married to an awesome Jesus loving, man of prayer if I don't know how to just be friends with one? 

[My lack of male friendship goes back to this terror I had of men (from issues that won't be disclosed here). Last summer I remember still being so afraid of men - even ones I knew would not harm me - that when I talked to them I'd start shaking uncontrollably, fear permeated my being. That started when I was supper young and continued through this past fall. But God. ( don't you just love those two words? or these "yet God"?) (ah-ha! I've thought up a title!) But God took my fears which were lies and knocked'em silly. The lies were on the track of what my identity as a woman. When Holy Spirit whistled through my veins smashing chains of lies that bound me. Giving me a assurance of what He did not think of me and what He does think of me, He gave me an assurance that I am His beloved daughter, I am complete in Christ, and just that I am IN Christ. There defined. None of this silly nonsense about he said, she said, nor he did this or she did that.]

So in light of the above paragraph me having male friendship has been out of the question, however, friendship with married men was different because friendship came more naturally as I was friends with their wives and would learn to trust more readily with their sweet wives standing by. Right so anyways, I guess I can't complain too loudly of not knowing how to be friends with single guys because of all of the above, however I forget these things about who I was and get frustrated about who I'm not now.

Well on with my story. So there's this dude right? And "awe man! he's single, but hooray he's handsome and single" but "oh nooooooooooooo! how are we ever going to be friends? He's single!" So I did what every natural sinner would do... as soon as I saw this man I let God know "I got this one God! I can handle this! We're going to be friends in no time and You don't even need to help, just be there to listen to my exciting stories okay? Thanks." Throughout the embarrassing process of having a crush on this handsome stranger God continued to call me His beloved, continued to teach me one patient fatherly lesson after another. I know these lessons aren't half over yet considering I will most likely see this stranger for many more months to come, but I think God got one very important lesson through to me last night. There was something I had promised to invite this stranger to next time my friends&I went but with my frustrations in toe, and old fears cropping up I had become afraid to invite him. Throughout the day I worried over the invite and prayed God would make it easy for me. When I finally made it home from work the handsome stranger was nowhere in sight, a cause of worry for me. So yet again here I was going "okay, God I got this! I just need to run outside a lot and be out there and be prepared just in case I see him. But I got this God, okay? I got this!" (I bet I sound really stocker-ish don't I? Sorry Handsome Stranger!) I had no luck. Did not see the man. A friend invited me to dinner and we went out (and had a blast). I prayed during dinner for God to help me, pleeeeeeeeeeeassssssse! I wanted to keep my promise but didn't know how too. Well guess who was outside when my friend dropped me off? Yep you guessed it.

But before I tell you the end. there's this other really important detail that I haven't mentioned. You see when God is hotly pursuing you He often gets through and makes you think more of Him then you naturally would and makes you in awe of His love for you. So a mist my frustrations God was making me adore Him and focus back my attentions on His loveliness. When one is focused most on God all other lovely things are no comparison. Everything else is just like "oh. nice. So anyways! Yes Lord!?!"

End of the story: Handsome Stranger was out in his yard (gosh i do sound creepy! creepy neighbor! nobody move in next to me!) and of course I got nervous, but remember that I have God with me. Two things were quickly noted 1. God made it really easy for me to invite him, answered prayer. 2. Wait... I thought he was more handsome then that! 

Thanks God!

and ps no he isn't coming he had other plans. :)

Thanks God, You are really good at being God and the lesson? I need help with evvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeerything! And God is jealous to be in control of my life and goings one. Got it God, You got this. Right, thanks!