You Don't Leave When I Say 'Amen'

Sticking to me

like You ain't got no where else to be

I say a quickie 

then shut You out of my mind

with an 'Amen'

But You said You'd never leave

And You never leave.

I say I'm gonna pray with my friends

and trust You'll be here when I pray

but as soon as I'm done

I figure

I act like

You're gone!

And You cried:

Pray!

Beloved, pray

Learn what it means to get Me!

Learn Who I am

when you don't get your way.

Come to Me, baby, 

Come.

 Tooooooo Me!

Short years fly away

And he was what I thought I needed.

I poured my heart out 

on my sleeve

crying: Daddy God! Just fix'em him

up, just right for me!

You said 'No,

I didn't make him for you. 

But you will grow from this yet, Dear.

You will grow'.

Deeper, You know me deeper!

Deeper! You love me deeper

Then any handsome man could ever!

You've come into the darkest nights!

You've held me when I cried!

And You have made Us deeper,

deeper still!

In these last days 

All I've known is You.

You are my Love forever!

You are here with me!

Everywhere.

All the time.

Holy Spirit, I can't relax,

come sleep with me.

Daddy, I can't focus

please sit beside me in this pew!

How do I pray? I can't find the words!

You hear me anyway,

Holy Spirit can translate.

I'm so afraid, an I can't break these chains!

Oh! But You can. 

I can't be my savior

But You are!

I say 'Amen' with my friends

But secretly smile

Cause You are

You are here at hand!

You know my ways

You know my thoughts

You're here always!

I can't push You gone

Though I may wish You'd leave

You're still right here

with me.

No thought can make You

disappear!

No action could make You

less real!

No conversation, no lies

will ever make You coward!

You're God.

You're real.

You're always here.

My bestest Friend

Best thought all day

My Comfort, in tears

My Laughter and Joy

My Food for thought

My Courage

My Hand to hold

My Love for life.

Glory to God In Singlehood

Other title: The Gospel On Display in the Single Life

But first a word on marriage:
Marriage is a picture of the gospel on display, the same way Christ loves the church the groom loves his bride. The same way Christ forgives His bride, the bride and groom forgive each other in their lives together.
But in marriage the man won't ever be able to completely satisfy his wife.
In marriage the woman won't ever be able to completely satisfy her husband.
The two will never be able to know each other completely or love each other fully.
They will never be exactly what the other needs. Why? Because as humans, guess what? We are sinners. A sinner can't fix a sinner! We will only make each other our idol and brake their heart and ours in the process. We are sinners who need a Savior.

Back to Single life:
Singlehood is the gospel on display in a Christians life! What? Wait! Now, Vicki, you just said that about marriage! Not sure you can say this about single life. Um... like. YEAH I can! Because as a single woman who has longed for marriage, idolized marriage, dispised marriage, and longed for again I have learned a secret that married and single people alike need to remember. That is that Jesus can fulfill my all my desires. Often it will look different in a single life then that of a married. The family that I have always longed for has ended up being my Jesus family. My longings and my heart might actually be the same as any married woman out there! To be loved fully and well. To be known intimately. To be cherished, protected, and provided for. All of these things can be found in a deep and sweet relationship with Jesus Holy Spirit.

Jesus is the Savior we need. Jesus ultimately satisfies. Jesus knows each of us completely -- His knowledge goes deep down into our souls and way back into our past, even what we were thinking in our hardest times. Jesus loves and understands His children better then any spouse ever could or will ever try.

The first question of the Shorter Catechism is: What is the chief end of man? Answer: Man's chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him  forever.
Why'd I bring this up? Because I believe that as we grow closer to Jesus and live out life in gospel communities and share these relationships with the world around us we will be glorifying and enjoying Christ. We still sinners. We are still going to fail and fall flat on our faces, but these time--when living in community and infront of unbelievers--are great displays of the gospel of Jesus. That He came, loved broken people who NEED Him, died the death they deserved and forgave them. Giving us hope and pulling us up out of the mud to live life again in Him.
God doesn't change when we do. Our relationship with Holy Spirit doesn't have to change with our circumstances.
A friend once said to me: If you aren't satisfied now, you won't be satisfied in marriage. That is a great encouragement to me that my relationship with Christ really is what is most, best, always be what I need.
So single (or married) girls out there, go forth! Grow in your relationship in our Lord Jesus Who has set you free from the law of sin and death! Cling tight to the Truth of the Bible! Glorify Him in your days, and live life in light of the gospel. Test every thought against the gospel. 

Day 30

to readers
so today would be day 30, however some personal things came up and i need push off the last day blog until Friday or Saturday.
so until then!
Vicki

Confronting is a Good Thing

Growing up I saw my parents fight all the time but I never (I'll give'em the shadow of a doubt and say rarely ever) saw my parents apologize to each other or extend forgiveness. My sister and realized this in high school and thought it strange that we went to church every sunday but we had no idea what forgiveness really looked like or what it means to "drop it" like really not have anything between us any more because of forgiveness. 

I learned a few years ago that when Jesus died on the cross that was God putting all my sin on Jesus, that was God putting all my Dad, Mom, brothers and sisters sins on Jesus, and double more wow was that Jesus' death was enough to cover not only people who will be saved but every ones. And then on top of all this He rose from the grave to conquer sin and death and then made our lives extra better by not just being willing to take our punishment for sin but to turn around to us and be our best Friend! What the heck? What? Who does that? I mean really.

God does that. Why? Because He wants to have a good relationship with His creation! But we look up at Him and scoff "I don't need You! I can do just as good as You, if not better!" And He knows better that we are human and He is  THE only God, and He STILL wants a good relationship with us. So instead of striking us all down (which is what we deserve) He sent Jesus to take our/my place of punishment. When  God the Father looks at those who have accepted Jesus (His Son) as Savior and Lord He treats us with the same love a Father gives a Son. Like freaking awesome!

So something I've learned in the past years is the way to not repeat my parents marriage is to lovingly confront my friends when I've wronged them or when they've wronged me. And do it ASAP!!! I always have to pray and talk to Daddy God about the situation and repent of anything I've done against Him and then the next step is to go find that friend and either tell them Hey I've wronged you and made our relationship awkward or strained, I was wrong. Will you forgive me? OR I need to go to that person and say Hey this happened or you said this, and I took it that way. Is that what you meant?

Confronting/confessing my sin against others is hard, but there is a peace that comes with putting everything out into the open, putting all your cards on the table - nothing hidden, and not allowing the sin to separate a friendship is so great! Confronting a sin in another is hard too. I guess the scariest thing about confronting/confessing is that fact that you don't know how the other will take it! They could be gracious and work with you or they could totally blow you off and you just lost a friend. When the friend is gracious your friendship just got stronger!

If I ever get married it will be to a man who is my friend, practicing apologizing and reconciling with my friends now will help in married life. 

Not easy at all but worth it! Even on the flip side if the friend doesn't work with you with grace in a situation God calls us to live with peace with every one as far as it depends on us. So if they won't give grace but you've apologized and forgiven what you need to forgive and repent to Jesus, then you're good to go.

See Matthew 18:15-35

Life is a Mist

Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, "if it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that. James 4:13-15

God's been teaching from these verses pretty steadily for the last five years. I have a coworker that every day when we leave instead of saying for sure "See you tomorrow!" she says "God's will, see ya tomorrow!" When I first started sitting in front of her sometimes I say back "God's will" but twice it happened that I didn't, I just assumed that I could bring me back. Both times I woke up sick the next morning. Mmm! God has a way of talking doesn't? I like to think I have this life figured and I know how to run it but, nope! My plans have to pass God's approval. 

My life is a mist... I heard a sermon on this passage last January and was struck with the reality that my life is short in the grand scheme of eternity. Even if my life is the mist from a body spray on somebody it really only last a day which is longer then the wetness stays but really... a day isn't very long either. So I was asked this question, in light of your life being a mist what do you really need to be doing with your life? My answer? Trusting Jesus and loving people closer to Jesus. I get side tracked a lot. I'm learning when I get  caught up in  mess the most healing thing is to remember my creator has a plan for life, I'm not the super star of my life or my friends lives. Our lives are all about Jesus, He is the hero  of the whole story. My life story is to make Him shine brighter and best! That's what this mist wants!

I often think that You Lord are doing my life all wrong. But I see only my story. I see only a simple frame, but You see lives that You are working on. Not just individuals. You are at work on the whole crowd. My plan would harm another, Your plan grows and strengthens all. You see and know the plans. I'm just a dot of paint of Your grand painting. My life is not about me, our lives are not about us. They are about You, Jesus.

My First Husband, My Lord

"Sing, O barren woman, 

you who never bore a child; 

burst into song, shout for joy,

you who were never in labor;

because more are the children of the desolate woman

than of her who has a husband,"

says the  Lord.

"Enlarge the place of your tent,

stretch your tent curtains wide,

do not hold back;

lengthen your cords,

strengthen your stakes.

For you will spread out to the right and to the left;

your descendants will dispossess nations

and settle in their desolate cities.

"Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. 

Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.

You will forget the shame of your youth

and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.

For your Maker is your husband --

the Lord Almighty is His name --

the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;

He is called the God of all the earth.

The Lord will call you back 

as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit--

a wife who married young,

only to be rejected," says your God.

"For a brief moment I abandoned you,

but with deep compassion I will bring you back.

Isaiah 54:1-7

Sometimes I get discouraged. Okay be honest Vicki! I've gotten really discouraged in the past about not being married. And in the last days I've wonder what is God DOING? This is not the way I would have worked my life out. Sometimes I want a husband bad... but wait Vicki! What is a husband? A wife's best friend, I think. A protector-provider, someone trusted... trustworthy, leader, encourager, teammate? yes. I think so. Well, God is all of those things...

Friends,

I've been learning in these last 2 weeks that even though I believe that God has called me to marriage, at some point in my life, that until that day comes when a man and I say "I do" I still need to be walking content in Christ as He my husband as if I had no promise. Which can be entirely discouraging, however, God has not called me to know and understand His plan for me but to trust Him and His plan for me. God has reminded me that He is my source of delight. When I feel sad and discouraged He can heal and encourage best. And His comfort and advise are more better then anything I could find anywhere else. If Jesus is all I have for the rest of forever, my soul will be satisfied. My Redeemer, my Maker is my husband through thick and thin. He is personable and real, He makes for a good husband for this girl. :)

and I don't know why but for some reason i need to post this youtube video on here too. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdrRSCL-EL4

Vanity - Pride

In October I got a trainer for the last six months of my gym membership and started working out regularly. And was noticed by men frequently which brought  up a lot of my own insecurities that I didn't know how to handle but on the twist side was a bit proud and flatter that men were noticing me. I talked an obsessed about it to a few friends. Sometime the week between Christmas and New Years a roommate confronted me with something like: Can you please stop talking so much about how men notice you? Men don't notice me and I wish they did, but they don't. When you talk about it so much I start to feel really insecurities. My first (condemning) thought was to tell her she needed more Jesus! But that Holy Spirit said firmly You need to not say that right now. Think about it first.

I have a neighbor who lives in the house next door who enjoys having people over for parties, which is great - I'm all for people having community! However, he isn't very considerate of his neighbors in that sometimes they go off to bars and leave the extra cars at his place and then come back at about midnight to 3am. They are loud upon returning. He is a teacher so he has the summers off, so last year these things happened throughout the week not just weekends. Last night was such a night. I woke up annoyed, I deserve my sleep! They should know better! I shouldn't have to go tell them to hush please, it's 1am!

I made a new friend some months ago but before we became friends I was like  No, I don't make friends with  please like that! I ignore them. 

I was just watching Julie and Julia with a good buddy of mine. When the couples fought I found myself thinking When I get married I would never be so crappy to my husband!  Only to be convicted that yes, Lord I am a sinner. OH. NO! I will be that horrible to my husband and there's nothing I can do to change that! 

I feel so self conscious! Stop noticing!
I deserve the things I want!
I can't hang out with anybody except pretty people!
I would NEVER do x, y, or z!

Really, Vicki? Really? Is that what this life is about? Is your identity really found in these things? These opinions of others? Who are you really? Because these stories make it look like you think you are god. So if you, Vicki-girl, is god then who does that make God Jesus Christ? What exactly has happened to His power? Was it you? Or God Jesus Christ that raised Christ from the dead? Oh...oh, it was God that did that. Yeah, yeah, mmmmm, so Vicki doesn't have that kind of power. Interesting. So who was it that made you pretty? Was it Vicki? Oh? No? It was God? Yes? And who can read thoughts? Oh, right that's only God. So that means that you can stop assuming you know what every man is thinking and humble yourself and ask Holy Spirit to teach you how to live. But while we're here lets just remember that it's God who gives beauty and it's God that takes away. Beauty is a reminder, a steeple, to God's craftsmanship.
Vicki deserves what she wants... well I'm pretty sure she was good with hating God but He pulled her out of darkness to His light in His wholeness. Vicki-girl, don't you see? You deserved Hell outside of Christ, now you are in Christ because of His grace and you need it more then you want it sometimes. And to your never would I ever's... you already have. But the difference between you and God is that you call upon yourself to complete lists and exclude those that don't measure up to your standards, but God as already completed the only list and not one human measures up yet He offers grace to the humble.
I deserve nothing. I have everything already and act like I did it for myself when really God just gave these gifts to me. I'm pridefully taking credit for things I didn't help create.

I'm a child thinking I've made me who I am, I've placed my hope in myself not Jesus... when it has always been God. I wouldn't be here without Him.

Check out Hosea 11:1-9

and

But you must return to your God,

maintain love and justice;

and wait for your God always

Hosea 12:6

Concerning Money

So all growing up I listened to arguments about which spouse should handle money and how that should be done. And I just assumed that since I'm not that great at math that my husband would be the one to handle money matters (cause I was totally getting married at 21 so Mom&Dad could help me out til then and poof! Magic Money Managing Husband would appear and I wouldn't have to worry about it ever again). And then one day there was that friend that got so irritated at my way of thinking she let me know about it

Friend: That's like him saying 'Well I don't need to learn to cook or clean because I'm getting married. My wife will do all the cooking and cleaning'!
Me: Uuuugh! He should totally grow up already and stop being disgusting and starving!
Friend: Uuuugh! You should TOTALLY grow up already and learn how take care of your own money! Gosh!

I was totally offend!!!
I have been so grateful for the offense in the last six years!

Money has been a total stressor for me. I have a few thoughts on how to handle money that I've stuck too and things have gone well. Pay for what you need first then see what's left. So when I started taking care of my money (a finical advisor called it managing your own Person Business) I had two loans, counseling, car payment, rent, utilities, food, fuel, phone, and tithing which I didn't always do. I didn't always tithe because I didn't know how I would have enough left over to eat. I was terrible at handling money at twenty-two but I also wasn't making very much, at one point I was going to get a second job and was seriously looking, but God brought me to an understanding that He cares about His children and He provides best for them. So everytime I got a paycheck I would tithe and pray Lord pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese! please provide everything this month, don't let me be put to shame! I know I have more then kids in Africa but there's so much I need to live here. Please provide! Please! Then I learned to leave that there and expect Him to come through for me. He did.
I wish I could say that I learned how to live on a shoe-string budget, that I know how to coupon and am totally into that... but I can't. Couponing gives me a headache, and I forget to pull them out in time. So
1. Learn along the way that God provides for His children's needs, trust that! Expect it!
2. God  stretches dollars in ways you can't imagine and surprises us with what we need though community
3. Be wise. Get a finical advisor and learn to budget. Stick to it!
4. Don't stress it so much. An older friend of mine puts it like this "What goes around, comes around. Sometimes you have plenty, sometimes you're penniless! The good news is that Jesus always provides what'cha need, when ya need it. And you can bank on that."

I've recently gotten completely out of all debt and I totally thought that this would be easier then being in debt because now I have all this finical freedom. But I've dropped my plan for how to spend and save which has lead me to again call on my finical advisor for help. It's a huge temptation to just spend it all on me, and I've totally done that since being free in October and let me tell you something friend, it isn't very satisfying. Not very satisfying to not have goals, or to just get stuff or eat out all the time because I can.
Jesus is to be my first satisfaction.
I'm learning that being debt free is going to take just as much discipline as being in debt.
I learned in the last six years how to budget while in debt now on to the adventure of learning how to budget out and free. Oh Lord, Help!

Advice from Married Friends

Just be friends.

I like a boy! He's so cute and funny! What should I do to make him like and notice me?

Just be yourself, just be a friend.

I don't know how to be friends with all these guys in my classes! aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! what do I do?

Just be yourself, be a friend.

So what's the point of this whole marriage thing? Why?

Friendship!

(SIGH) I want to get married but don't want to be desperate... but? 

Basically what happens is that you meet someone, you become friends. You both enjoy each other, you both want to spend more time together and then even more time - so that's when you start dating. Then as your friendship grows and things are going well, then you get married.

So basically throw out the whole idea of marriage. Just focus on friendship! Be a friend and grow in Jesus.

Confidence in Christ

 There was a time when I wouldn't go into a store if there wasn't an equal ratio of men and women, or more women then men. If there were too many men, I kept walking and came back for whatever later. I was living in sheer terror of men. 

So what changed? How am I no longer terrified of men?

Romans 8. A lot of Romans 8 reading.

One day at work I was deeply struggling and Romans 8:14 - 17 stuck out to me.

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you receive brought about your adoption to sonship.  And by Him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs -- heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in His sufferings in order that we may also share in His glory.

Not a slave to fear. Received the Holy Spirit. Adopted and now called into sonship, I am a daughter of God. I share in His sufferings. I am in Christ! 

So I stopped and pieced that apart ...okay Christ says these things about about me. He is my Daddy. But my earthly dad called me other things...worthless, deceiver, lier, whore, and unlovable.

Earthly dad. Heavenly Dad. 

Earthly dad. Heavenly Dad.

Which one is bigger?

Which one's words will last?

Which one decided thoughts on me without meeting me and kept those thoughts the same?

Which one owns the world.

Um... God. 

Okay i know it's silly but this is where I was at at that time...So since God owns the world, and made it Himself it's His world I'll be trusting and placing my identity on. When my earthly dad gets he's own universe maybe I believe what he says of me. 

But my identity is in Christ because of Romans 8, because of Christ's death on the cross. It took time and lots of reminding myself of these truths, lots of fighting lies but after a while and the Holy Spirits help I believe and trust my full and lasting identity is in Christ Jesus. Christ has set me free from fear of those lies!

Faithful in the Little Things

Growing up my siblings and I had chores every week, mine was to make sure the house hold trash "wasn't overflowing" (lol, you know takin out the trash), we also had a weekly dishes schedule. There were a number of occasion that I remember complaining about my part this is so annoying! I don't want to! Why do I have to do this?
Be faithful in the small things, Mom would say. That honestly didn't help my attitude a whole lot until one day I asked her what she meant. She said something like when you're faithful in the small things God knows He can trust you, that you can handle more or bigger things. 

Something I struggle with is looking to the future thinking When I'm at this point in my life I'll ...be happier, or my life won't be so boring, or whatever. But what I've learned (and stolen from Mom's lesson) is that God has given me a job to do today, or at this time, and He wants me to do it! There are lessons to still be learned in this job He has me doing that will prepare me for the next job, the next thing He has for me. Being faithful right where God has called me can really try my patience, but it grows my relationship with Him and He brings blessings in the normal everyday life that I would totally miss were I always dreaming about the future.

Loving the Sinner Next to You

Love. Not a feeling or a heart flutter, not butterflies in my stomach, not a fantasy or a crush, nothing shallow or light, nothing superficial. Not something you could happen upon or fall into... naaah, not love.
Love is deep and steady, meets you where you are and serves in your sickness and sticks to you at your meanest.
"Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
 It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."
---Yeah love forgives, love forgives---
"Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength and with all your mind. And love your neighbor as yourself. Luke 10:27

Loving roommates, loud neighbors, and annoying siblings is NOT freaking easy. Somebody once shared with me to think of myself as the difficult person to love, because honestly I am... to Jesus. If we weren't sinners He wouldn't have had to die for us... but He loves us more then enough to die for us and forgive us for that ridiculous sinful life, for that sin that we just can't or don't want to give up.
Or think of it like Matthew 18 where the king forgives the great debt of his slave. Like the forgiven slave I'm to forgive those that have offended me, that have debt against me.
I've learned that loving someone can be hard. Love is ready forgiveness. Ready reconciliation. Ready grace. Loving is really easy when there is no conflict, but it grows deeper and better when there is. Sometimes the person you're called to love doesn't reciprocation after confrontation but I'm still called to forgive and trust, hope, persevere, and protect.
But why? How can I?
I can because I know my Savior. I know that I can trust my Savior with my heart. I know I can trust my Savior to take care of and convict or punish that person. I don't have to be their judge, or their conscience.
It is really hard to live out God's love when you live with someone that doesn't reciprocate or your neighbors drive off late at night in his loud car and comes back at 3am. But I've also learned that these times are special times to praise God for the small things like I have a roof over my head! I can pay my bills! I was sleeping, which is waaaaaaaaaaaay better then not sleeping! You can chose to be angry and boil over, or you can ask for help. You can sing about amazing grace and pray for everybodies hearts to change.
Praising, praying, and singing to your Savior when it's hard to love protects your heart from bitterness and keeps you at peace with Christ. To love is a command not a good idea. It's another way God loves us and takes care of us, commanding us to guard our hearts and mind in Him.

A Place to Hang My Soul (a really late 5/4/13 post)

Daddy! i don't want to get married ever because You and me will change!

Future Man will sleep right next to me... no more crying myself to sleep in Jesus' arms. ("Hey man! You are not Jesus/Holy Spirit! You can't heal and hold me deep!")

Why can't You keep him to Yourself, Lord? Aren't ya'll friends? Wouldn't You like him best single? I like me and You better as me single!

I'm finding the hardest times are the things that I'm not wanting to share with Future Man. I don't want him between You and me!

When I just want to be with You, Daddy, will he let me?

But wait! Hebrews 13:7 DOES say that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Lord, here are my hands. I still feel sad about possible marriage but it will be me that will change not You. Any change to end You and Me will be my lack of trust... any good change in me and Our relationship will be You at work.

I don't want to be single forever, but I've found You a sweet comfort when I'm aching the most. You are the God that hears me.

You are my refuge and strength, my ever present help in time of need. I don't want You to leave. I don't want Us to change even though I've prayed for a future man. 

My comfort, my strength, my pursuer, the One who knows best how to romance me, my love and my friend is my Lord God Almighty, Jesus makes me giggle, my refreshment, my laughter, my rest, my shoulder to cry on, my wisdom and guidance, my cooking Buddy, my most intimate confidant, my alarm clock, my teacher an challenger, the One who holds me together, my closet/hiding place, my always presnt friend, my loving/listening Daddy, my protector-provider You are! And You still will be for me even if I wed.

If anything I'll have more to talk with my Dear You about.

You are where I hang my soul

You are who I wake up to

You know my thoughts, words and deeds

You convict me of sin

and set me straight

You will never leave or forsake me

You keep me close and pursue me back when I leave.

You are the One place I can hide

The one place I can fall asleep knowing I am still within Your hands!

My place to hang my soul.

Delight

Today i'm going to be brief, not because there's hardly anything to say on this topic but because sometimes less is better.

If you want to hear something long here's a lecture from the Village Church, that has been one of my "go to" listens when I just feel really single and defined by that, or when I don't feel loved by God
http://www.thevillagechurch.net/resources/retreats-conferences/#preacher-sort_anne-lincoln-holibaugh

read Psalm 37 (here's a link) http://niv.scripturetext.com/psalms/37.htm
verse 4 says
Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.
 Delight? How do you take delight in the Lord? In the message above Anne-Lincoln talks about how easy it is to "take delight" or enjoy her favorite clothing store... Delighting in the Lord is like that. Telling Him what you like about whatever it is that you enjoy and thanking Him for your life and senses to enjoy Him through these things. You should totally try it! I often find myself going off on rabbit trails telling God how good, awesome, amazing, impressive, and crazy good He is from a starting point of "i like this or that Lord!"

I love walking around Staples
Walking by the River
Long drives in the country
There are so many things that the Lord has made I just enjoy and these things point to God's personality and character. it's like getting to know a friend. ;)

The Prize

 ³ Go up to the land flowing with milk and honey. But I will not go with you, because you are a stiff-necked people and I might destroy you on the way.”

⁴ When the people heard these distressing words, they began to mourn and no one put on any ornaments. ⁵ For the Lord had said to Moses, “Tell the Israelites, ‘You are a stiff-necked people. If I were to go with you even for a moment, I might destroy you. Now take off your ornaments and I will decide what to do with you.’” ⁶ So the Israelites stripped off their ornaments at Mount Horeb. - Exodus 33:3-6

Would you be satisfied to go to heaven - have everybody there in your family that you want there, have all the health and restoration of your prime, and everything you disliked about yourself fixed, have every recreation you've ever dreamed available to you, and have infinite resources of money to spend - would you be satisfied...if God weren't there? - John Piper

When I'm in need of clothing, shoes, a bed, wisdom, even words and Holy Spirit perspective I've learned to pray and ask God for it. Taking every detail to God asking Him to provide and thanking Him for that time that He will. With material things I am often praying for several months in advance to God leading me to a store that has that item in the price range I've asked for. I recently bought a new bed that God had put in my heart to be praying for back in November, I got this bed into my house about almost two weeks ago! As I was driving home soon after the purchase I asked the Lord "Why did You have me pray for so long for a bed?" The two answers I got were 1. To grow Our relationship, and 2. If you hadn't be praying for a bed, you wouldn't have been looking out for one and you would have missed blessing one of your fellow believers.

And then it struck me. Prayer is really about a relationship with God. He wants to spend time with me! Praying for things and praising God for the good and the bad. I've learned to come to my Savior Jesus about everything because I know He cares. I know I can speak honestly and openly with Him about anything!

When I'm sad or confused I've learned to go to Jesus and tell Him about it because I have a relationship with Him. I know He is there for me. Every moment.

A friend of mine preached a sermon on prayer last summer, encouraging us to pray, pray, pray for our neighbors and friends. At the end of the day if our friends love just - win! And we get a deeper relationship with God - win! And even if our friends don't love Jesus at the end of the day we still get God...we still are growing in relationship with Him. Deeper in Christ is never a bad thing.

Jesus has become my nearness friend and relationship because He loves me. Because He is able to save. Because He still pursues me. I'm His and He is mine. Prayer is a relationship. Jesus/God is the ultimate prize... not because He gives me things but because He gives me Himself.

Sweet reader I pray it is the same for you and Jesus. That you are always growing in a deeper real, radical relationship with Jesus Christ as savior and friend!

http://wrightfamilymusic.bandcamp.com/track/richly-loved

one of my favorite songs

http://midtowncolumbia.com/wp-content/uploads/sermons/072220124.mp3

sermon on Preserving Prayer by Thor Sawin