A Desert Whine

Lord, I just don't wanna pray right now about this thing!

I'm just like that lil'ole' Israel:

Why'd You have to bring me to the desert to die?

Back in Egypt I had a solid roof on 'ore my head!

In quiet heart I sigh:

What are You working in this waiting Lord?

What are you doing? 

I'm like Your Gomer You led

Out to the desert to woo.

All I can muster is:

I was comfortable in my Egyptian bed!

How, the hell, am I to sleep with all these cold stones

 jabbing my back?

In response You begin my heart to woo to You!

Your patient eyes they watch me whine

Your firm commands are protective and kind.

While I sit with rebellious eyes

Refusing to pray because I'm so afraid,

Afraid to say aloud

I think You lied.

I sit here in my imprisoning pride.

Have I misunderstood?

Did You lie?

I thought since You'd already swiftly moved

You'd shock me farther a continued fast pace!

You moved fast and now You've slowed?

Why?

I just don't understand why You brought me

to this never ending desert place?

Now that I've been honest I remember that 

You are God and You are good.

I am always in Your hands,

Safe and understood.

If I misunderstood You will use my failings.

Even if You lied -- which is against Your God ways!

You are good and worthy of trust and praise.

You've brought me thus far

(And You know dat's farther then anybody else ever did!)

I will trust Your heart

On this, O Lord Jesus.

I'll bring You this thing that has not gone my way

I'll bring You my pride and lay down my will.

I'll put these on the alter 

And stab'em til they're dead-dead!

Strike a match and let'em burn.

It'll hurt to watch'em roast to ash 

My will that convinced me it would be so

My pride that gave me that control.

I was refusing to trust Your way

Because I idolized mine, 

Instead of waiting and watching Yours unfold.

Here I come back, Dada!

Arms out stretched and tears in my heart.

Dada! Please forgive me!

I've broke both our hearts when I left.

Hold me again and be my first Love

For-lasting-ever!

You pick me up 

And show me Your scars

Beloved.

I knew you'd run before you did

I know you'll run again,

But these are for you!

My gospel will always be true!

I love you.

Everyday.