Companionship

In 2004 my sister and I moved out of our parents house and parted ways to go off to college. It was one of the saddest partings I'd ever had. She was pretty much my best friend from the time I was borne plus being  my sister and roommate. We fought a lot (mostly about how to clean our room, haha! Okay wasn't it all the time). We laughed a lot and we just did life together. We helped each other through the tough times and hung out together in peaceful times. We made a pretty good team! Growing up I never really considered that there would every be a time without her. But there we were one off to Idaho and the other off to Tennessee parting ways. 

One day while driving home from work I was trying to describe to God why I was sad and I all I could think to say was I miss having a friend like my sister, someone who lives with me, pushes me to Jesus, knows me so well we can just look at each other's face and have a clue (or more) what's going in their brain. Some one to call up when you wanna going camping or for a walk. My sister and I shared a bed a few years, I miss the late night conversations just cause we couldn't sleep. I miss having a close friend. 

When I first realized that I just miss having a friend to really live life with I started praying for a companion. Now I can totally tell you truthfully that I am happy and I have close friends and I enjoy my roommates. If the Lord blesses me with a husband one day I'm totally still going to spend time with my besties, but there's also something special and deep about a friendship that you're friend outside the home and inside. It's something I've been praying for for about five years, sometimes angry, sometimes worried like Am I ever going to get this? Why pray? God is ever growing me in trusting Him, and this is just one more way He teaches me to trust Him. 

While in college there was RUF group and pastor, one semester he taught on Romance, Dating, and Marriage. The one thing that the pastor kept saying was that marriage is about companionship. Every week he'd start out by asking what's marriage about? By week three we all knew what to yell out: Companionship!
I kind of laughed at the pastor saying that because 'I thought I knew better' marriage was about making babies and family right? It wasn't until I started having good friends that were married couples that I realized that pastor was right. You can't really have a good marriage without a good friendship foundation.

I don't remember when I learned this but I know I knew it as of 2yrs ago that God listens when I'm hurting and comforts when I'm sad. He's ways are not my ways, and His thoughts higher then my thoughts. God has a different way of doing things then I do. Two years ago I started praying for God to just hold me when I ache for a companion. Jesus holds me so well. He doesn't completely take the pain away but teaches me to trust Him with it. And I've learned that when I ask for something I need to submit to His will. Submit to His will knowing that I may not get what I asked for exactly as I asked or at all but Daddy God loves me and  knows what I really need most. And sometimes all I really need is Him. He is what is best and He does what is best for His children.