Grace in Abuntance

I'm sitting here trying to figure out what to write today. I have my list of things to write about each day but for whatever reason writing about God's grace is, well I need grace for it honestly. Lol! I'm sitting here thinking
I should tell this story or maybe that story. Is grace forgiveness or something different? Oh no! I'm a flipping Christian and I can't explain grace? I'm such a bad stupid Christian. What do I do? Lord, why am I writing this this blog? I don't have anything good to say and I don't edit half the time. Did You see my post yesterday? Were You proud of me? What did everybody who read it think? Bet they think I'm crazy, bet they...

STOP!

Vicki, Stop!

Slow down, give yourself some grace! Just write about how you learned to give grace and Jesus. 

Okay. I think I can handle that. :)

The day that I remember first giving myself grace was while going to pick up "my car's in the shop buddy". When her car is in the shop I take her to work and vis versa. That day I was running really late, not only did I need to get her to work on time I also needed to get myself to work on time. As I pulled into her complex I  was berating myself with you should have's... if you had only... if you were better or more mature... 

My counselor that week had said to me "Vicki! Can't you allow yourself some grace? People make mistakes. You make mistakes and aren't perfect. Stop belittling yourself for not being perfect." 

I didn't understand. Grace wasn't something I'd seen a whole lot of, I only knew how to call myself awful names and tell myself terrible lies like "You're worthless. Nobody cares about you. You will never amount to anything. You thought you were doing so good but look at how you just failed. You suck." But God doesn't view me like that. 

At church I was told that if I refused to forgive myself for something God had already forgiven me for it was like I was saying my words and opinions were more true then God's. I remembered this that day on the way to pick up my friend and thought wait! I'm not bigger then God! Maybe I could drop these words and just ask for help.

That was the first day I gave myself grace. I learned later that giving myself grace isn't just letting myself off the hook. Another part is saying Okay this isn't going my way and I should have done  x,y or z but I just need to give this to Jesus to handle. I'm a broken sinner that needs a Savior to save me from my sins and my failures. There are still consequences but I don't have walk around with that weight hanging over me anymore because Jesus died on the cross becoming my sin, taking the punishment that I deserve once and for all and giving me the option to turn my life completely over to Him to receive His forgiveness. I am washed clean when I receive His grace, when I receive His forgiveness.

If we confess our sins He is faithful and Just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 

1 John 1:8

This doesn't just go for when I don't forgive myself it also covers the things I have true guilt over. Like when I sin sexual as mention in yesterdays post.  Because of Christ's death on the cross my debt against Him is paid in full. When God looks at me He see me forgive but not only that, He sees me as if I were His Son Jesus who has never sinned at all. Praise the Lord for His grace!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVnV1kIZYYs