Thankful for the good times

Hey friend,
     I don't have a real easy way of saying this but this weekend has been rough. everybody has rough weekends right? :) it's nice to know i'm not the only busted up human in the world. yep. so why was this weekend rough? cause i really started missing my dad. i missed his dumb and crude jokes, riddles that i couldn't figure out for days, his "magic tricks" haha! yeah, Dad would get all excited that he could boil water and just before it would start to boil he'd call any audience into the kitchen and be like 'watch! i'm going to do a Magic Trick' then he'd whirl his hand around over the pan of water then step in front of view then jump back and yell "ta-daaa! so what'd ya think? pretty great right?" and then no matter what comment we gave him he'd say "it's all in the hands, all in the magic hands!"
     Today i was missing a memory from long ago. the first church i remember going to (we moved churches the beginning of  my second grade year) was this little family church name EauClair  presbyterian every month or two months we'd have church pot luck night, but even better then the normal monthly pot lucks was lake day. i have know idea how this worked out but somehow, somewhere we always got this meeting hall right on the lake and have a pot luck and we'd all go swimming and  canoeing then come back from some grillin.  this was the best church event of all of them. in the lake there were raft like things marking the depth of  lake, like warnings almost. i always stayed in the shallow end. there was one year that my sister right above me went far out to the third marker and was swimming great and then all of a sudden she wasn't there anymore. then she popped up and waved her hand and yelled help but then when down again, then up again, then down. next thing i know there was mad swimming happening and i couldn't see who it was until Mary was up on the raft and breathing okay again. it was Dad! Dad saved Mary from drowning!  i know it's crazy to remember this but i remember thinking "i didn't know he cared! Dad cares about us?" for the rest of the day we just went canoeing with an older sister, but i just kept thinkin "wow! Dad cares!" i miss those days. i miss that day because i knew that i would be protected.
     i found myself not wanting to pray a whole lot this weekend because why would God let Dad die so soon? there was still life to be lived.
at church tonight we were singing ... i don't know what we were singing but it was like God convicted me while singing He is the God of life. He knows the times He has for us. And He choses when we live, where we live, and when we die. i didn't get to help Him decide when Dad would pass away, but He gave me the gift of life, He gave me the gift of knowing my Dad before he died. it wasn't the best relationship by any means but it was something. so these good memories i have i can say thank You God for the good times, thank You for the lessons Your teaching me through this. to be fair i know that this isn't going to easy to keep saying. it's easy on a high to say thank you right after i learn it. but tomorrow this might not be so easy. but God is still God. God of god's and Light of lights, very God of very gods. He stays the same, it's me that changes. it's me that leaves Him, He stays the same. Always forever the same. so God, thanks for the good times with Dad. Thank You for the church family You've given me. Thanks for my other fam. Thanks for holding me through the bad times and healing and pursuing me for life. Thank You for passionately loving me and being real!

Been encouraged

Hey! so it's Sunday again, i've decided to blog a least once a week and try and keep up somewhat with others through reading their blogs. So something that i've been going back to again and again these last two weeks is Psalm 23. ya know if you grew up in church it's something you grew up with and know by heart as this beautiful type of poem but i've been seeing more then just that resently in it.

Psalm 23

The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want

He makes me lie down in green pastures, 

He leads me beside still waters.

He restores my soul

He guides me in paths of righteousness

for His name's sake.

even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

 your rod and yours staff, they comfort me.

you prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. 

you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

surely goodness and love will follow me 

all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

because of who I am in Christ there is a lot of encouraging truth in this chapter, i count 15 truths that are strong truths in Christ. and have become very encouraging to me. things that i didn't understand before i'm now nodding my head going "yeah! that's so true, He has, He does do that!".

1. The Lord is my shepherd - yep! that's true, He is my shepherd. in every sense of that word.
2. I shall not be in want - true. what i need...need God provides. ALWAYS. He is really sweet about being consitant in providing. And His grace abounds in that He blesses me with more then what i need.
3. He makes me lie down in green pastures - He gives me rest. and what do sheep need with green pastures? well, it's their food, it's not just any food it's healthy food. but it's more then just food it's that He provides the rest and things i need spiritually and physically to grow and live in Him.
4. He leads me beside still waters - i heard a speaker say once that the reason it says still or quiet waters is because sheep are afraid of rushing water. we are the sheep. we need water and (this is just me sayin) God knows our fears and even though He may think and know the fears are silly He brings us to still waters so that we may live. He provides.
5. He restores my soul. - nuff said! so true!
6. He guides me in paths of righteousness
7. why? - for His name's sake! it's for He's glory...i'm finding that's a beautiful thing!
8. Even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil - that's right! in the mist of dark pain and confusion i have a place of comfort! i need not walk in fear or live by fearful sight.
9. For You are with me - everyday, all the way! i think this is one of my favorites... that God is with me always. :)
10. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies -
11. You anoint my head with oil -
12. My cup overflows - there is so much blessings! i'm so amazed!
13. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life -
14. and i will dwell in the house of the Lord
15. Forever - okay you might not say that this is a promise by it's self or counts... but i think it is. you know? we live on this earth for only so many 80 something years, but one day we in Christ will live forever with Him! i'm excited about that! :) 

some of those i left blank because i don't really understand them. but just like life there is still room to grow. i'm not a bible scholar, these are just things that i've thought of this text and have been encouraged by. God is really good! so personal! i love Him!

Image bearers

     Hey, so I'm reading this book called Rid of My disGrace by Lindsey and Justin Holcomb, I'm in the last section in the book call Grace applied. I haven't gotten very far into it but what I have been thinking on from it in the last 6 or 7 hours is the idea that God created us in His image, kind of like the illustration that they use that the ancient kings would set up images of themselves around their kingdom because their kingdoms were so vast that they themselves couldn't always make themselves known to each providence of their kingdom so they would have the monuments or status of themselves put up so that the people would remember who their king was.
     The book got this idea stuck in my head that when God created man and woman in His own image (as it stated in Gen. 1) and told them to multiply it was like He was saying remember Me. Make more people in My image to remind you of who your King is, to remind you how you ought to treat each other remember that you are made in My image.

      Here's another thing. At church we've started this new series called Different and Equal talking about men and women as equal and this first part of the sermon tonight I was having a difficult time really listening because I kept thinking "oh, yeah image bearers! We bear the image of God!" and like Jon was saying at the beginning of the sermon men and women have different qualities that show use what God is like. I just sat there being really amazed and excited that I get portray to those around me part of who and what God is like just by being a girl.
     I also got excited thinking about how different each of us is but yet we all bear God's image and learn from each other. Take for example this simple conversation my roommate and I had the other day. We were talking about what we would do if we had a little extra spending money and she said she'd think to buy a shirt, and I thought I'd like to buy more jewelry and a dress. She wished she thought more like that, but quiet honestly it'd be really great if I could remember to not by jewelry or dresses and buy a shirt. I kept thinking during the sermon isn't that just so? Buying a dress isn't more like God then wanting to buy a shirt, it's different perspectives and mind-setts that show off God. He made us different but the same... make since?