At my church community group this past week our group leader asked if there was anything that we were specifically struggling with that needed to be "gospeled".
I keep thinking about that this Easter weekend. My car is covered in rain and Dogwood petals and I realized while leaving my Mom a voice mail yesterday that I'd completely forgotten to make Easter plans.
Growing up and even in the last few years Easter has been one of my favorite holiday's because of spring! The Dogwood tree blooms are my favorite. The fresh green leaves against a rainy grey sky - ooooooooh! makes me want to raise my arms, close my eyes and twirl like a little girl in a "twirly dress".
But this year when the dogwoods bloomed I hardly noticed, I've had to force myself to slow down enough to look at the green trees against the grey sky. I've been so caught up in fundraising for Midtown Residency that I've miss the beauty of this season. I've confessed several times in community group that I'm struggling with the idol of Residency is going to be the greatest. But it won't be. I'm nervous about it, it's gonna be different and I don't like change.
Today driving to a friends house I found myself annoyed by a Dogwood flower petal plastered by rain water to my windshield. I'd wipe one off with the wipers just for another one to fly up right in front of me again.
"Grrr! Lord! Just move it! Can't You see I'm driving!"
I love you. Slow down. Remember My crown of thorns for you.
"I've got things to do today Lord! Can't You wait at least until May 13th when what's uncertain now will be more certain?"
I love you. Aren't all of these things you're doing suppose to be about Me?
"Yeah! It is. Duuuh. But I just have a lot to do, I can't slow down right now."
... So it's not about Me, its about all Vicki Hansen and her life.
"Oh. Shoot."
I've gone from there's this thing I want to do so that I can grow in Jesus and be helpful to His family to How do I keep everything in order, look like I've got it all together, and not go insane? The scripture that keeps coming back to me recently is
John 8:31-32
To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
I don't really hold to Christ teachings when I'm running around forgetting Him and not keeping Him first in my life and thoughts. Forgetting Him helps a lot with forgetting Easter and the joy of the cross too. I wouldn't be alive physically or spiritually if Jesus hadn't died and three days later risen. So in forgetting Him what lies am I believing instead?
Food for thought over the next few days. Maybe you needed the reminder too. His Truth, Christ is the Truth, has the power to sett us from from the law of sin and death (Romans 8). But so often I find myself not trusting Him because the lie is more comfortable, but friends, lies are prison. Jesus rose from the dead, I now have life because of Him.
