Friday, May 9, 2014

Pride

I wish i could write a book
write a story
I wish i could write a poem
but i'm just not that clever.
so i'll write lots of thoughts
hit the 'enter' make it look
like a long column here
just so i can pretend i can
write a poem. lol!

has anyone ever told you something that made you mad
and then God took the time to unwind your head
And when you think that you've learned everything
from that painful word, Baba God shakes His head
"Now your idolizing the tool instead of your Creator"
So i'm down once again with a drobble on my head
Oh no i've done it agaaaaaaaaaaain!

What do I doooooooooooo?
Am I an outcast again?
Will I walk with a frown hanging
DOWN on my heeeeeeeeeeeead?
and the guilt condemnation's blanket friend
come to crush my heart again. (boy, do i like the word 'again' a lot tonight or what?)
(come to crush my heart to the ground)
with no hope to be found!
(yes, Shawnie. i do have a dramatic flare.)

But WAIT! Why was I getting shown the error of my ways again?
What was the resolve?
Surely there's Hope!
God makes good things!
Oh!
God is the creator.
Need Jesus most, best, and always.
Why?
Because nobody can be for me (us) what Jesus is.
Savior. Grace giver. Life. Comfort And SO MUCH MORE!
(I mean, you've. never met another human who can do that much less, raise a dead person, right?)

uh, but'cha know - the Holy Spirit can
convict and unravel
and I can be in awe
but if i'm still unwilling to come to my
Father,
humble and ready
trusting that He is right
and get real honest
say 'I'm sorry, Baba
I've been wrong, You're right'
the joy in repentance won't be found
and my analyzing will just turn
to self righteous airs
thrown in front of my audience
puffing up my pride
making me the hero once again
 of a story I cannot write
without this life that i couldn't give.

thank You Baba for this life.
For the truth I'm more wrong
when it comes to us disagreeing
You're the True King
i am not.
Thanks.





Friday, May 2, 2014

ramblings

lying on my couch crying
wishing the stories were different
different for a 3yr old with cancer and her family
different for a couple who lost their baby
different for a girl who lost her mom
questioning is God real
different for a pessimistic family
I can't make things better for us
and when i pray i'm distracted by so many things
There's so much to talk about with my Savior. but it seems like there is so little time and so much more that needs to be done.
So
where do we find the time to preach the gospel over our lives.
when do we study the only truth that will give us the streghth to fight
strength to live
refreshment to laugh and enjoy the glory of the Lord?
where do we take our tire
broken
busy
hearts?

Jesus. We take our hearts for comfort, direction, healing, freedom, for a friendship with our Creator Who truly sticks closer then a brother. Who pulls us out of a slimy pit and sets our feet on a solid rock.