Heart and Mind Battles

I've been thinking a lot lately about how I need to learn to make my mind is lead my heart instead of vis versa. You know. Mind is the more sensable one. I guess if my heart and mind were their own little charactors Mind would be a sensible creature that thought through and questioned everything. Though pridefullness gets her into quiet a lot of trouble. Heart would be the dreamy, happy, laughing sort that rushes into anything that sounds like an adventure and great fun, but when things don't go her way she falls into the depths of despair! Oh drama queen know yourself!

So you can quiet imagine now the fights that happen between Mind and Heart and how hard it is to allow Mind to lead.

Yesterday Heart was leading for a large portion of the day with high hopes, incessant giggles, daydreams of what could be and "if only's" which all completely distracted me from work. While Mind was yelling down “Mayday! Mayday! Ships going down! You need to listen to me!”, “You know you always do this and you always get hurt. Stop! Just stop the endless chatter. You need to listen! Jesus is more important!”

But Heart was roaring with dreams and fears and soaring so high it couldn't hear Mind. After a while Mind gave up and just drummed her fingers on my desk and waited for one of the fears to pop up to squeeze in a reality check. Reality came by reading some scriptures on Who God is and the armor that I wear as a Christian. My heart is covered by the breast plate of righteousness and my mind is helmeted by salvation. Both very well protected by Jesus and His blood. If Jesus was the source of my joy why was I not thinking about Him? Why not wistfully dreaming about my love for Him? Awe but you know the adventure of unrequited love must come every once in a while.

Heart did start to listen around 3pm yesterday. My feet returned to the ground from the clouds they'd been dancing on and the fog in my mind started to began to separate. Constant reminder that being present with Jesus is better then being absent and only have pretend friends. 

This morning I finished up Joshua and was encouraged to write down the things that I found God to be in this book. I thought that I would do that on breaks at work however I discovered that Heart is awefully whiny and doesn't want God very much. Mind knows that I need Him and want Him but my heart is still very far off and is happy to whore after other things. Yesterday I told a friend in the hight of Hearts frolic that I would be intentional about loving Jesus most... sigh.

Friend, loving Jesus with my heart intentional is harder then I thought it would be yesterday. I'm much more stable today, but my heart still strays quiet far, not to an adventure but to a different idol. Idol of self and I can do this without You. I'm not sure this idol is much different from the idol of "if this were different or if I were this - I would have value". It appears I don't trust Jesus to be the best thing for me. But yet isn't that what I'm learning everywhere?

Lord please teach to my wandering heart to trust and love you as I ought. My mind knows it can love and trust You but my heart hasn't a clue. Please change me!

Faith and Swords

     I was watching the moving Prince Caspen a few days ago. During the sword fight between High King Peter and the usurper King Mares and it struck me that the shield that God gives us is our only defense weapon. I know you hear that all the time in Sunday church gatherings but it just really struck me.
     Faith. Trust in Jesus, God, Holy Spirit, the Bible. Faith that God is Who He says He is. That the Bible is His Word.
Faith is a shield. Shield against what? Anything and everything that goes against God, goes against what He says is true and right.
We pray for faith but we don't always live it. When we're not living it, we're not using it.
If we're not using our shield then we're probably not using our sword much either.

     So if are shield and sword are in our hands then we're either about to go out into battle or we've surrendered. Or we've dropped them and we fighting with our fists against a man with two swords! We're in trouble unless we get that sword of ours back - but wait!
Doesn't that terrify you? If your Enemy has your sword that means he has the Bible and he's using it against you! That means your not using it... like your losing your knoweldge of it because your not checking things out for yourself! Yikes!
     I guess the other idea would be that your in the dugout not even in the battle, without your sword and shield think you don't even need to go out. There's a WAR happening all around you, you have the skills to go out there and fight for your King but nope. Here you are sitting comfortably in your jammies thinking "Let somebody else fight!" or cowarding hoping no one finds you.
     We'll all gone die, either before, after or during the battle. Death is coming for us all. So we have options... Pick up that shield and sword and learn how to wheeled it, then go out and fight or teach others to fight. Or stay in the dugout, let the double swordsman cut you to bits with he's sword as well as yours.

    I really need this reminder. I'm really good at putting down my shield and sword. The sword goes first, while I moan that I don't have time to practice, I don't know what I need to know but I know God is good. And then after a few days or weeks I'm a practicing atheist. But God in His mercy continues to pursue and fight for His own. He continues to win me back to Himself and reteach  me through His grace how to use this sword of the Spirit and this shield of Faith.