I remember a conversation I had with my older sister and two of her friends when we were in high school. The girls were talking about how they hoped they would be wed by the time they were (and no later then) 25. Twenty-one or twenty-two was ideal. They couldn't wait to play house like their mom's did, and have little families. My urge to speak was to great I just had to interject that if I wasn't married by twenty-one then I'd like to wait until thirty or maybe even forty to get married, if all. Because if you don't get married early then wouldn't you want to live a little? I had my hopes on being a business owner by the time I was thirty as well, so that had a lot to do with my thinking. I got some pretty shocked looks and questions of don't you want to be a wife and mother? I'd always somewhere deep inside wanted to be a mom but, I didn't grow up in a loving home. That year had been rough so the idea of wife and motherhood sounded pretty bad to me. I wasn't too keen on settling down early for a forever life to be stuck in a house and fight with a man.
So single sounded really good, especially the weeks my parents fighting increased.
By the time I was twenty-two I'd met some Jesus loving guys and was totally thrown for a loop What? There are really genuinely kind men out there! Okay, maybe marriage won't be so bad. I need a husband. Because I don't want to be a lone forever. I had a lot of pressure on me from family to "grow up and be a wife and mother" I thought somehow they would love me less if I didn't get married.
Both reasons are off. I don't want to be lonely/my family is on my case to get married and I don't want to get married because of my bad experience are just off. The world would give you labels of course. To the business woman, there would be success awards. To the wife and mother there would be living the American dream award.
But would I be content as a working woman? Would I be content as a wife and mother? I've heard from both that there are pressures that go with both and everybody has their say about what you need to be put together and successful. But I've learned, like the pressure my family put on me to get married right away, people are always going to have expectations for you. So who's expectations are you looking to fulfill?
I've had to lay down my families expectations of me because they were both too high and conflicting (8 siblings saying two different things in varies ways sounds pretty conflicting!). Their ideas and goals for me have come to me as heavy because my life is turning out very different from theirs. The expectations of the world are confusing. One day I was thinking about what is God's expectation for me? Pretty sure He says in Matthew Come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for my yoke is easy and my burden is light. We're to take up His yoke, His word and His ways and learn to follow/trust Him. It's a lot easier going to school under a kind and gentle Tutor then trying to fit into a unyielding mold.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. -Ephesians 3:20
His expectations come with His power to work in us. Human expectations leave us feeling weak and overwhelmed with how much we have to do. Jesus has great expectations for His children but He comes with the weight. He comes to make it happen. His expectations bring hope and healing instead of despair.
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